I keep thinking about my couple of forays to the gaming tables in Vegas. I came out a little bit behind, but won my last spin before walking out the casino door for my flight.
As I mentioned earlier, I’m not a big gambler. But, the dynamics of the game, and watching the people around the table is some of the best…although expensive…entertainment in Las Vegas.
I kept seeing people experiencing a feeling of anxiety as the little ball fell from the track onto the roulette wheel. No matter how strongly they felt that their bet was right (and hunches will break you as quickly as a system) many of them looked like they wanted to reach out and pull the bet back.
I don’t know if this is good or bad, but once I put a bet down, I didn’t regret it. When the little ball settled onto a number/color and it wasn’t the one I bet on, I was disappointed, but I didn’t feel like I had been wrong. I felt like I had the same chance as everyone else. But, life seems to be different.
Anxiety often comes with even the best thought-out bets/decisions. The tough part of life is that it can be incredibly difficult to reverse some decisions. I don’t know if I believe the people who say that anything short of death is fixable. I understand the logic, but I don’t know if my emotions agree. I look back on some decisions I’ve made and certainly wish I had a mulligan, a do-over.
There’s a line from The Song of the Indian Wars that goes, “So much to win, and only life to lose.” I love the audacity of the quote, but I keep thinking that life is surely a big bet.