Wednesday, March 14, 2012

It's Krispy Kreme's Fault!

Let me put this Krispy Kreme doughnut down.

Wait…maybe not…I’ll just…yum, yum…there!

Ooops, sugar on my shirt.

(If you’re not into rants you might want to move on.)

According to the OECD—the Organisation of Economic Development—we’re tied with Mexico as the fattest people on the planet. One in three Americans is obese. In Mexico I guess that’s unos en tres.

When I checked up on the OECD I found that it’s a bunch of government employees working in Paris and bankrolled by a lot of the countries in the United Nations, not the least of which is the United States.

I’ve got to believe that a lot, if not most, of the staff of the OECD are French.

The French are not known as a chunky people, but how fat can you get eating snails, slugs and cheese that smells like people’s feet?

Bring’em over here where they can get Krispy Kreme, Baskin-Robbins, Barbecue Lodge and a Chinese buffet on every corner and let’s see how thin Pierre and Bridget stay.

(Which brings to mind the question of why you never see fat Chinese, but that’s a query for another day.)

It’s obvious that we’re a husky society. In almost any sidewalk shot of a U.S. city half the people (well, one-third according to the OECD) look like meat sacks on two feet.

I mean, watch two minutes of Mike and Molly on CBS and you’ll beg to enroll in Jenny Craig. Every time I see those folks I want to jump on my coffee table and yell like Ahab, “Thar they blows!”

And I’m one to talk. If you meet me in a hall it’s about as easy to jump over me as it is to try and squeeze by me (stole that joke from Larry the Cable Guy).

The OECD has put governments around the world on Red Alert and pushed them to develop policies to help citizens get healthier. First Lady Michelle Obama is leading the “Let’s Move!” campaign.

That’s a great idea! I’m moving towards another Krispy Kreme!

PS…only 4 percent of the Japanese and Korean populations are obese. Bait as food…you tell me.

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