Friday, June 28, 2013

My Picture on a Wanted Poster

I’m sure my picture is on a wanted poster in ant land.

Yesterday morning I awoke to a column of ants trudging with military precision from the outside of my side door, through the doorway, down a wall and onto the edge of my kitchen counter.

When I moved into this house two years ago I had ants and a friend turned me on to Andro, a liquid ant killer. Some of you use Terro and it’s the same thing.

You put a couple of drops on scraps of paper, leave them along the ants’ path, let them suck up the poison and take it back to the nest and it kills the queen and her minions.

(how cool is that, I don’t think I’ve ever had the chance to use the word minions…you know, a servile low-life who scuttles along behind you agreeing with everything you say… ‘course, it would sure make life easier if we all had a few minions…I mean, I wouldn’t have had to put out the Andro myself, one of my minions would have done it for me…but, I digress)

I put the Andro out in the morning and when I returned home last night the ants were…gone. I don’t mean most of them were gone I mean all but two were history and I quickly ended their sad, lost little lives with a squish of finger and thumb!

I certainly understand that the survivors are probably plotting re-entry…or, at least they will be when they all return from the queen’s funeral. And what’s that like? A bunch of ants standing around crying with some on crutches and others coughing and wheezing from the Andro. Bet the teenage ants were texting like Alec Baldwin’s wife yesterday at James Gandofini’s funeral.

Dang, digressing again. Guess that’s the vacation talking.

Any…way. The ants are gone. I’m probably number three on the Ants’ Most Wanted List behind the inventors of Andro and Terro.

Next I have to figure out how to deal with the moles in the yard

Wonder if they are in cahoots with the ants?

Have a great weekend. If you are leaving town for The Fourth I have two words for you…Be Really Careful.

Wait. That’s three words.

Be Really Careful and Watch Out For….ok…that’s like six words.

Have fun. We love ya. See you Monday.


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