Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Vacation Reading. Lies! Lies!

The media often lie to us. I know that’s a surprising—even astounding—thought, but my vacation reading is proving it on an hourly basis.

Here’s an example. This month’s Men’s Health magazine has an article, “Instant Weight Loss.”

I read the article. Didn’t happen.

So, the next article I read was, “Your Gut-Shrinking Power Move.” No kidding, that’s the article. Check the July/August issue of MH.

It would appear that my power move is to my mouth. During my reading I had a VERY large bowl of cereal with cashews and blueberries, about a half-gallon of milk…another, smaller bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats, half a peanut butter sandwich…more milk…two bites of chicken…half an apple and…more milk.

Why would they do this to us…lie, I mean? Why get our hopes up? Every few paragraphs I kept looking down at my waistline to check for progress.

None.

In fact, I felt and seemed to look...BIGGER…my waistline seemed to have expanded WHILE I WAS WATCHING. Is it a bad thing if your navel faces up like a cup in your skin?

I happen to know that I have washboard abs…it’s just that there’s a lot of dirty laundry piled on top.


Next article: “Abs! Get’em While It’s Hot”

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