Wednesday, August 16, 2017

How to Keep From Going Blind During the Eclipse


Even the North Carolina Department of Transportation has lost their minds over the eclipse. On major highways the big NCDOT signs now say, "Eclipse August 21, Expect Heavy Traffic, Plan Ahead"

A friend was looking online for eclipse glasses and found 3 pair for $299...now, I'm as interested in the eclipse as anyone, but for $299 I can drive to Charleston, sleep in my car, visit the bar at the Francis Marion Hotel and watch the eclipse on television and it'll cost me a lot less than $299.

So, if you really want to safely experience an event that used to make primitive tribes throw virgins in volcanoes with hopes their gods would bring the sun back, here's what you do....

go get a box from the likker store...you'll need one that is rectangular and usually holds 6 fifths...Jose Quervo or almost any cheap vodka box is the perfect size...

tear the flaps off the top

flip it over and poke a hole about the size of a big pencil 2/3 of the way up one end...if you want more complete instructions, poke the hole 1/3 of the way down the box from the end that is now the top and is glued together...how's that?

now, on eclipse day you stand with your back to the sun, put the box over your head and position it so you can see a round spot of light on the end you are facing.

As the eclipse progresses you'll see the shadow of the eclipse begin to cover the light spot...it'll be just like watching the eclipse without actually looking at the sun...and you won't hurt your eyes!!

However, you should print this blog out so that when your neighbors call the cops, "My neighbor is standing in the middle of the street with a box on his head!!! I think the Trump stuff finally got to him!!!"...you'll be able to explain that you simply didn't want to spend $299 for glasses that would make you go blind.

Have fun!


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